All I can do is hope and pray.

My nights have been rough, I’m still shaking and I’m haveing a hard time breathing. I lost my best friend. I’ve lost my lover. I will always regret not coming out with the way I felt sooner. I’m suffering, my heartache… My heart can’t take anymore pain. 

I’m praying for hope and forgiveness. 

I am weak… I am trying to keep a clear mind but my heart beats for him, I’ve had a pit in my stomach for the past three days…

I am weak.

I am so ashamed of myself.

I wish I could take everything horrible I’ve done in my life and to him all back! There isn’t a day that goes by that he isn’t in my mind.

I messed up.

I messed up big time and all I can do is hope and pray that he hears me out and is willing to keep moving forward. 

Please my heart! My heart can’t take it! 

Whatever god or higher power there is please hear me cry, please here me ask for help, please help my best friend. Please help him clear his head, I just hope and pray he understands I’ve been here this whole time for a reason. He has been my rock for the longest time. I feel it in my heart that this is all happening for a reason and I pray that reason is for him to continue to be in my life. 

I love this man, kind, gentle, loving human. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s