I am struggling 

I am hurt

I am heartbroken 

My best friend, my lover… Finally gone. 

I have no one left, all I have is my mind and those crazy thoughts. 

My heart has been racing for the past three days… Why me!? Why now? After all this time. I’ve worked so hard to get to where I’m at. And I was just breaking down my wall for my lover to love again. 

My heart feels like it’s going to fall out of me. My mind is racing back and forth, over and over again how badly I wish I could start over. I feel as if I cannot breathe. I am not ready for this to be over I was just getting started. My love for my lover will never fade away after everything we’ve been though. After all the times my lover had stuck by my side, my darkest times… This is hard. My heart cannot take it, I am in a hole I cannot get out. I keep telling myself over and over again it’ll be okay and pray to god that he comes home for the last time and the right time. 

I believe in this love more than anything else that I’ve ever had. I’ve had enough heartache and I’m ready now to kee moving forward. 

I can’t breathe.

I can’t sleep.

I can’t think right.

My passion for fitness has been declined because my heart hurts. 

My heart hearts.

I can’t breathe. 

God help me. Show me the light. Show me that everything will be okay. I can’t let go. I believe in this love so strongly. My heart has been in it since day one. I know things can be good. I know who my lover is deep down. He’s kind, gentle, caring, passionate, happy, loving, everything that I’ve needed in my life. He was and will always be my better half. 

I can’t breathe. 

I feel so angry because I had been searching for my answers and I’ve found it when my world is crashing around me.


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