I’m tired

So I’m really just trying to breathe and I keep telling myself to relax. I’m trying so hard to distract myself from my hurting heart. It’s taking so much out of me not to run right back to what I know is perfect in my eyes when it’s good. I hate this feeling, I hate this feeling of my chest tighting up. My heart still races when I think about the passion that was there and I cannot imagine my life loosing someone so special. Here I am crying about my heart break. I have never been so ripped apart by someone so knew all the ways to work around my mind and get exactly what they wanted. This has been the hardest year of my life. Although I’ve been feeling okay I am still not 100%. I’ve never loved so bravely, I put my heart right out there for someone whom I shouldn’t have. I let go, I’ve learned and know unfortunately I’ve got to build those walls. I’m insecure, I’m filled with anxiety about this heart break, I’m scared I’ll hurt someone the way I’ve been hurt. I cannot play back what happened to me onto someone else and I’ve seen and heard it happen before and thought to myself “I’m doing what he’s done to me to this person.” I’ve become a bad part of this person who hurt me. I can really say that you are who you keep, their actions influence big time. I spent a great time worrying about someone and I didn’t take care of myself. I’m tired. Someone out there help me. What do I do!? 

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