I’m 85% happy with where I am the other 15% is when I’m alone and I hear a song or see a picture or something that reminds me of how much I put my whole heart into someone when they had their whole heart in some other place. Im always trying to hold things back, thoughts, tears, actions. When I’m alone I’m becoming stronger, when I cry I’m reliving pain put on me. Forgiving myself first is something I have to work on, I’ve got to let go for the negitive things I’ve done, said, I beat myself up for hurting those around me because I was hurting. I let my wall down so easily because I wanted to love so bravely. I was told I loved bravely… As of now I’ve got to protect my heart. I feel like this happened to me because I was the one breaking hearts. I’ve never felt this way and in the end I brought it upon myself but I’m trying. And crying alone or writing about it has been helping me. Everything is just too fresh on my mind but I’m trying. I’m going. I’m waking up everyday knowing now my heart will heal sometime soon and I’ll take back my life. 


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