Muir Woods, Sf, Cali

Muir Woods 2017

Isn’t it amazing that we’re usually just stuck indoors complaining that there’s nothing to do. We live in a world where technology runs the world. Yesterday, was wonderful because I had forgotten what else was out there and to be honest I thought I was in a different state other than California and everything that’s recently been going on in my life… stopped for a few hours. The weather turned out to be perfect although I was a little turned off by having to pay for a national park, something that I believe should be free. 

Overall, I’m rating this place a out of 10 well worth the drive.

You’re on my heart German. My mind will not shake you. You are so special to me I wish you only knew. I wish I told you sooner, time was just cut short between you and I. I’d like to see you soon, I’d be willing to accept everything that’s gone on between you and I. I love you today, tomorrow and foreveršŸ

I keep waking up thinking you’re there for me. 

This is unreal to me. 

I’m so sorry.

I wish I had told you earlier how I felt.

I wish we talked about things more instead of fight about it.

I keep waking up thinking you’re going to call me back or shoot me a text. 

I am so sad

I am so sorry

I wish you knew how much you meant to me. 

I’d give anything to have you right where you used to be. 

My heart hurts and I won’t ever stop thinking about you. 

I love you today, tomorrow and forever.

My heart still feels heavy. The answer is “time will tell” but that saying makes me feel sick. All I can do is hope and pray that my other half, my lover understands my hurt and comes home to work on things. 

I am old enough to understand and accept things like what has already happened. If we care about eachother we can make it work. 

I just don’t get how one says he loves me so much and has the respect for me but wants to give up. 

I cannot believe I ruined everything good I had. I wish I could take everything back. I just hope that I can allow him enough space and time to really find himself and come home to someone who will forever love him unconditionally. 

I love you today

I love you tomorrow

I’ll love you forever 

I’ll be here 

I love you and I 

I love you to the core of my soul 

I need you

I need to here you laugh

I need to see you smile 

I need to smell you

I need you to know I can make it up to you 

I love you today, tomorrow and forever.

Dog park Blues

Sitting here at the dog park where you and I used to sit for hours and just talk. I’m reminded of you here… The couples with their dogs, the other Belgians, the little Miatas that pass by, the memory of the time when I almost passed out and you stayed with me all along. 

My girl misses you, my girl reminds me of you. This place reminds me of you. 

I’m going to sleep tonight praying and I’ll wake up praying that something wonderful and positive comes out of this. I hope that you come home. 

All I can do is hope and pray.

My nights have been rough, I’m still shaking and I’m haveing a hard time breathing. I lost my best friend. I’ve lost my lover. I will always regret not coming out with the way I felt sooner. I’m suffering, my heartache… My heart can’t take anymore pain. 

I’m praying for hope and forgiveness. 

I am weak… I am trying to keep a clear mind but my heart beats for him, I’ve had a pit in my stomach for the past three days…

I am weak.

I am so ashamed of myself.

I wish I could take everything horrible I’ve done in my life and to him all back! There isn’t a day that goes by that he isn’t in my mind.

I messed up.

I messed up big time and all I can do is hope and pray that he hears me out and is willing to keep moving forward. 

Please my heart! My heart can’t take it! 

Whatever god or higher power there is please hear me cry, please here me ask for help, please help my best friend. Please help him clear his head, I just hope and pray he understands I’ve been here this whole time for a reason. He has been my rock for the longest time. I feel it in my heart that this is all happening for a reason and I pray that reason is for him to continue to be in my life. 

I love this man, kind, gentle, loving human. 

I’m ashamed of myself. I’m sick. My heart. I will regret everything I’ve done for the rest of my life. I can’t wait for this shift to be over with so I can lay down in my gray room and think upsetting gray thoughts. I’ve lost my heart, I’ve lost my rock. I’ve lost my lover for so long. God take me away, take me out of my pain..